Very recently I was feeling very self importance so I decided to take a look at my blog and you know, just generally read through my posts. Soon enough, I got to the “Friend Zone” post and I thought I should revisit it here with some fresh thoughts.
We all know what the friend zone is, for those who don’t; friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable and/or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person.
According to psychologists, the man in a cross-gender friendship is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her sexual interest in a romantic relationship.(Culled from Wikipedia)
To put in simple terms, you’ve become friend zoned when the subject of your affection has decided you’re just a friend and no longer a dating option. You become this complete non sexual entity in their eyes, like a sibling or a lamp.
For those who read my posts, you’ll know I approached the whole concept from a completely different angle. How you know, at some point everybody is in every other person’s friend zone. And wait for it…being in the friend zone might not be such a bad thing.
Interestingly, I came across a few prominent feminist bloggers who have characterised the “friend zone” concept as misogynistic; saying that the friend zone concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has a duty to return his affection. A woman who does not return her “nice guy” male friend’s affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.
Here I firmly disagree. Why? Because I have PLENTY guy friends who have “friend zoned” ladies. It’s not a concept that “afflicts” only guys. Boys “friend-zone girls” just as much as girls do (in my opinion). In fact, some of the times you ladies characterize the guy as being “afraid of relationships”, “afraid of commitment”, or “emotionally distant”; he’s only interested in being friends, he’s probably just NOT-THAT INTO-YOU. You’ve been friend-ed. Plus, you should never feel obligated to reciprocate romantic feelings to a friend for whom you have none.
If you truly care about that friend you are about to place so firmly in the friend zone, the least you could do is not ignore them, talk about it. Get the elephant in the room out of the room. Period!
I will probably going to get into trouble with the feminist types for what I’m about to say but I’m going to say it anyway because I’ve just about had it.
I have a problem with women driving!!!
There, I said it! Now before you unleash the claws, please hear me out. Maybe it’s just been my particularly bad luck, but I’ve been scared to within an inch of my life on the road while driving more times by women than men. Related Article: Women Are Terrible Drivers
Are there good women drivers? Oh yes there are, but the majority I’ve been unfortunate to come across seem to have street racer+danfo aka bus driver mentalities. And when they’ve just hit me or run me off the road or just generally scared the wits out of me, they give me this look like don’t I know they’re women? Or they go ahead and call their husbands, like the man is going to leave work to come beat me up.
In lagos I literally saw bus drivers avoid cars they knew where driven by women. ( A strange sight because these bus drivers are the roughest of the lot.)
That being said, I’ve never believed women are the “weaker sex”, more like the “craftier sex” in my opinion.
And please ladies, you have got nothing to prove. Just drive. Sanely.
Ariel Ugorji identifies himself as a mild insomniac, geek, nerd, an audiophile, an avid music lover, Liverpool Fan and an unashamed Christian; with more often than not a completely different point of view on the world and a love for sensible arguments. He Resides in Warri, Nigeria; the land of the sharp and the brave.
To view more of his write ups, please visit his BLOG. You can also share your views with him on twitter @arielugorji.
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