IN VIEW OF HOMECOMING by Ariel Ugorji

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Two weeks ago I was in Lagos and stayed with a friend for about a week. Oh the joy! It felt like homecoming.
As soon as the bus drove through Berger, to Ojota, to Ikorodu road, turned off and headed to Oshodi, I knew I was home. Forget Warri, forget Delta state. This was it right here, home is where the heart is and my heart is in Lagos.

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I missed the black pungent smell of smoke from the bad engines of the huge buses, the press of bodies during rush hour, the abominably long and damnable traffic jams, the weed-smoking gin-drinking wild red-eyed rambunctious bus drivers and their conductors, the manically impatient passengers, the epileptic (on the best of days) power supply, the hawkers selling gala and Lacasera in the traffic jams (see those kids run after buses to collect their money, forget Usain Bolt, we got world champions right there). Ah! Paradise! Weird, I know right? But I missed it and for the one week I was there I savoured. Enjoyed it.

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Enjoyed jumping up and down from okadas to move around satellite town; enjoyed laughing with my friend and other passengers at a sizeable lady who took up the space meant for two and a half people on the bus (shame on me for laughing at fat people? You should have been there to see the way people scampered away to let her have the seat to herself, and I dare you not to laugh); enjoyed going out to watch Liverpool play with the guys, etc. But after a week, I had to return home to Warri and believe me I didn’t mind, why? because as much as I love Lagos, the stress aged me. But I’ll be back.

Lasgidi I hail thee!

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BAE
You thought it was over right? Lol. It’s not, at least not quite yet.

I’ve been finding it hard to keep up with the new slangs we come up with these days. I first heard “Bae” in a tepid Jeremih song very early this year or late last year, it was quite unremarkable so I promptly forgot about it. Then all of a sudden the thing exploded. I started hearing and seeing “Bae” everywhere. On twitter, facebook, in my BBM chats people used it when chatting with me. It was ridiculous. Even more ridiculous for me was that I had no idea what it meant. Because context wise I had heard it used for a variety of different meanings; Bae : Girlfriend, Bae : Boyfriend, Bae : Bestfriend, Bae: Babe, Bae: Crib etc. In fact I have a musician friend on twitter who once called her boyfriend “The Bae”!

So, I decided to consult wise old google, and lo and behold the very first result I saw was that “Bae” is an actual word! Danish in fact and it simply means “poop”. Shit. Feaces. Excrement. You get the idea. Hmmm.

As you can imagine, armed with this knowledge I have promptly jumped on the “Bae” bandwagon, and I’ve been “Baeing” people since then.
So if I “Bae” you on twitter, facebook or BBM, believe me I’m not being cute.

Ariel Ugorji

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ABOUT AUTHOR
Ariel Ugorji identifies himself as a mild insomniac, geek, nerd, an audiophile, an avid music lover, Liverpool Fan and an unashamed Christian; with more often than not a completely different point of view on the world and a love for sensible arguments. He Resides in Warri, Nigeria; the land of the sharp and the brave.

To view more of his write ups, please visit his BLOG. You can also share your views with him on twitter @arielugorji.

Do you agree with the writer’s views on this topic? Please leave a comment

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